Luxuria
by Adamantyne
Summary: Shikamaru is not like he once was. He has changed and it is not for the better. Helping hands are reaching out, but will he take them? Or at least one of them?


**Luxuria**

He watched her as she let her thong drop to the ground. She was humming and her platinum blonde locks were dancing over her bare chest as she moved seductively toward the bed he lay on.

His arms were behind his head, his legs slightly spread and his member giving a standing ovation to the master piece of a body before him.

Her green eyes seemed to glint in the dim room but he purposefully averted his gaze, lowering it down to her bosom. She put a knee on the bed and leaned forward on her arms as her head lowered over his groin.

He let out a raspy moan, his voice hoarse from smoking, shouting and drinking throughout most of the night, as her lips closed themselves around the red, swollen head. She twirled her tongue around it tentatively before lowering her mouth further down his length.

He began panting slightly and moved his hips in the rhythm of her bobbing head. He loved the feeling of the wet heat and gasped as he felt himself making contact with the back of her throat. He heard her gag and a second later he felt the cold air against his erection. He let out a disappointed grunt and glared down at the lustful face only to see a smirk form on it.

She grabbed his throbbing cock and began stroking it while she reached down and drew his balls into her mouth.

Shikamaru loved the treatment he was receiving and heard himself moan loudly. Soon the skin-on-skin contact was over and he felt the bed shifting. He opened his eyes and saw long, pale thighs on each side of his hips. He reached up and pulled her mouth into a rough kiss and violently rolled them over. A look of surprised flashed across her face, but she said nothing.

He freed one of his hands and reached down to guide himself into the tight warmth of the woman beneath him, the other roaming all over her torso.

She let out a sharp gasp as he thrust into her and he took great pleasure in the wary look on her face that she so obviously tried to hide from him with a shaky smile.  
He set a rather fast pace, he wanted to get off and he could not care less whether it was pleasurable for her too or not. She was just another body to be used and why decline when she was so willing?

His hips began to move faster and he chose to ignore the hand pressed against his abdomen; it was a clear signal for him to slow down, but he had no such intentions.

He pulled out of her, shoved her onto her stomach and made her stand on hands and knees before pushing himself into her once again. His hands were on her hips and he leaned his lips against her shoulder and bit it hard.

"You want it?" he asked breathlessly.

Nothing but pitiful moans escaped her lips.

He pulled back and thrust into her as hard as he could, that was not the answer he had wanted.

"You want it?" he asked again, this time with a bit more volume.

"Oh, oh ye-es!" she managed, the last word breaking into a shriek as Shikamaru had once again pulled out only to force his erection into her lower body.

He grabbed a handful of that angelically blonde hair and twisted it around his fist, pulling her head back and exposing her neck. He leaned forward and licked it and then used his other hand to turn her face toward him in a painful angle. He slipped his tongue into her mouth and explored the alien anatomy.

He felt the pressure build up and let go of her face and hair to grip her hips yet again. He raised a hand and let it fall onto the white buttock where a red mark formed almost instantly.

"Oh, fuuu-uck!" he shouted, his voice dripping with lust and desire; desire to feel his mind clear as his orgasm commenced.

The body beneath him moaned shallowly and he felt her contract herself around him, only adding to his ecstasy.

His body went limp and he fell unceremoniously onto the petite woman lying under him. She lay still and waited for him to get off, but got impatient after a few minutes. As she began to stir, the young man pulled out and got off the bed in search of his clothes.

She just lay there; the warm, white liquid was seeping out of her and running down her inner thigh. She did not cover herself, there was no need. The man rummaging around the room did not deign to to look at her.

Neither said a word to each other; there was nothing to say.

* * *

A burning pain manifested itself behind his eyelids and quickly spread to the rest of his head. Someone made their way around his bed and the sunlight intensified as that someone drew the curtains open. He contemplated whether or not to open his eyes and decided spare himself the pain of the sun, reasoning that he would receive a scolding either way.

He groaned and waited for the person in the room to say the first word. He did not have to wait long.

"Shikamaru," a female voice said wearily, the disappointment clear.

He groaned. He had no desire to wake up. Reality was something he went to great lengths to avoid.

"Shikamaru Nara! I know you're awake. Do you think you can lie in bed all day?" the voice spoke again, this time with more energy.

"Does it not look like I'm sleeping through a hangover or do you just like to see your only son suffer?" he asked wryly.

He heard his mother sigh, long and deep. _Here we go_, he thought, _what a drag_.

"I will not have that tone in my house and you know that! And don't you dare expect me to pity you. This is of your own making and frankly, I don't care the slightest if you suffer. You've got work to do and maybe this'll make you think twice before pulling a stunt like this again," his mother sounded thoroughly exasperated. It was not easy for her to watch her son fall apart, but she had tried everything to get him back on track and she was now on the verge of giving up.

Shikamaru dismissed her with a weak wave of his hand. Really, what was the point?

He heard his mother make her way to exit the room, when she suddenly came to a stop somewhere near the doorway.

"You have half an hour. Get up and get dressed," she said, pausing for a moment before continuing. "And take a shower. You reek!" The way she stressed that last sentence made it clear that she was disgusted with him. _Great_.

Even though the need to stay in bed felt overwhelming, he knew that there was no way around it. He had moved in with his parents approximately a year ago, when he had been kicked out of his own apartment. He had neglected a few bills and apparently that was reason enough to make him homeless. He did not mind, though. It was nice to be in the safe confines of his childhood home, the pleasant memories soothing his troubled mind. He liked it, but for some reason he never spent much time there, he was really just using his room to store his few belongings and occasionally slept there when he was not out on a mission or in the bed of a stranger.

He groaned as he sat up, slowly, clumsily, eyes still closed. His hand found his bedside table and fumbled its way to a pack of cigarettes. His experienced fingers opened it and produced a cigarette and a silver lighter from the small cardboard box before he put it aside again. He put the round object between his lips and lit it, eyes opening as he took the first drag.

He felt beside of himself, a feeling he had thought he would get used to eventually. He felt empty and wished that he could just stay inside. What was the point of going out? He had nothing to offer, there was nothing special about him. People annoyed him anyway; they were stupid and naïve. They always expected something from him. _As__ if I care_, he mentally scoffed.

He just sat there, trying not to think of anything as he watched the clear blue sky out of the window. A burning sensation in his fingers brought him back to the real world. He had burned his cigarette down to the filter and watched as a chunk of the glowing end fell down onto his bare thigh. He felt the pain it brought, but made no attempt to avoid it, instead he stubbed the remains of the cigarette in the ash tray next to him.

He got up and gathered some clothes before walking off to the bathroom. He undressed, turned on the water and waited for it to reach a decent temperature.  
He stepped under the hot water and let it wash away the evidence of his latest sinful encounter.

When he got out he stared at the blurry reflection of himself in the mirror. He just stood there and watched as the steam slowly retreated, watched as the contours of his body became clearer.

His face stood out from his insignificant form. It looked haggard: a sickly dark color adorning the skin beneath his eyes. His eyes... they had a dead look in them, a look that told everyone near him that he was nothing of importance. He was nothing but a thing to be used, just as he used the people around him. Draining them for what they were worth and then leaving them behind. _It's not like they're any better, they just don't know it_, he reminded himself and tried to shove away the thought beginning to form in his head. _Perhaps it's better to live in blissful ignorance?_ He rolled his eyes, _of course it isn't. No. No. It certainly is not,_ he reassured himself.

He came to the conclusion that it was a stupid idea to just stand there and began to put on his clothes. After he had tied his hair up in its usual pony tail, he made his way to the kitchen, knowing that his over-protective parents would want to check if he was okay. _Like I'm some kind of goddamn child, Kami!_

His father and mother were sitting at opposite ends of the rectangular dinner table. They did that every morning, coffee in their cups, his mother talking about irrelevant things, while his father was pretending to triviality of the scenario made him sick!

His father looked up and opened his mouth to speak and then he closed it again and repeated the motion a couple of times until his better half shot him a glare.

"You can't keep doing this, son," he began, looking towards Yoshino for approval.

She nodded and continued, "What are you hoping to achieve?"

Shikamaru stood there flabbergasted for a second. He knew he had had this coming, but he had not expected it to be so soon and straightforward.

"I'd like some context, thank you very much," he responded and leaned against the door frame, adopting a bored look.

"You know what we're talking about, Shika. When are you going to let go?" Shikaku asked.

"You're reading too much into it. I'm simply having fun. Isn't that what a guy at my age is supposed to?"

"Shika!" his father said, his voice was louder than he had intended and he lowered it as he continued. "You're a shinobi. Your purpose is to serve this village. You should know better than to throw your life away. I raised you better than that!"

"Always going on about the fucking village. I do my job as a shinobi and you know it. You just can't deal with the fact that I have a fucking li-"

"Language, Shika!" his mother interrupted. "I've told you several times now that you will respect the rules of this house! Speaking of which, what makes you think that you can come home at five in the morning, drunk out of your mind. You woke both me and your father with all of your clattering around."

"Yeah," Shikaku agreed slowly. "If I were you I wouldn't continue like that."

"We all know you're not going to throw me out. I'm your son and you love me unconditionally," the young brunette stated in an utterly calm manner.

"We love you, son, but you will not stay under this roof unless you begin to conform to our rules." There was not the slightest hint of insincerity in the scarred man's eyes.

"Yeah, yeah," Shikamaru said, feigning boredom and turning to walk away.

"Shikamaru!" his father shouted and thereby put his son to an immediate stop before he turned around. It was rare to hear the older Nara do such a thing, he usually kept his composure.

"What?" the boy in question asked contemptuously, though not quite daring to glare.

His father's expression softened as he spoke, "You can't mourn over her forever, you know that, right? Why don't you find a nice, sweet girl and-"

"Temmi has nothing to do with anything! I'm totally over her," Shikamaru retorted, starting for the exit of the house.

"And besides," he continued. "I've already found a nice, sweet girl. I fucked her brains out last night ..." He smirked as he placed his hand on the door knob, "if you know what I mean."

And with that he was gone, leaving his parents gaping towards the door.

* * *

As he stood outside, he regretted the argument as his head painfully reminded him of last night's events; he should have grabbed a painkiller when he had the chance.

He sighed, going back in was out of the question when they were in the mood of being responsible parents. His stomach rumbled displeased and he figured that it would probably be a good idea to get something to eat. _Hmm... I think I could do with some ramen_, he decided and began to walk towards the center of the village.

He strolled, nose pointing to the sky and hands folded behind his back, as he studied the few clouds on the otherwise blue sky. He had managed to find 13 different shapes when he reached Ichiraku Ramen.

He stepped inside and saw Naruto happily jabbering away about something to his former sensei,Umino Iruka, and he wondered how the two had managed to stay in contact through all of those years.

He took a seat next to the young, blonde man and poked him lightly on the shoulder to get his attention. The blinding smile on his lips faded almost immediately when he turned around to look at his assaulter. An uncertain expression flashed ever so swiftly across his face before he regained his composure and managed to squeeze out a weak, "Hey, Shikamaru."

Iruka, on the other hand, smiled widely, "Shikamaru! How've you been?"

Naruto turned his head towards Iruka in shock and opened his mouth to say something when Shikamaru interrupted him, "I'm doing just fine. What about you, Iruka-sensei, do you still teach at the academy?"

"Yeah, I just finished telling Naruto about some of my students. Little brats!" he chuckled. "Just yesterday, during weapon training, they decided to play "pin the tail on the donkey"with me being the donkey. Of course none of them told me, but I began to figure it out after the first three shuriken. "

Shikamaru smiled at the older man, "It seems not much has changed then?"

"Nah, they're just as unruly as you guys were," he said, the smile on his lips fading a bit as he turned to Naruto and discovered that the Uzumaki was frowning at something in his bowl.

"Finding something interesting?" he asked.

The person in question looked up and managed to curve his lips the tiniest bit upwards, "Not really, I was just wondering if I could eat the rest."

Both Iruka and Shikamaru stared at him, obviously surprised, Iruka's mouth hanging slightly open.

"Well, there's a first time for everything," the blonde tried after a few seconds of silence.

"Bu- but this is only your second bowl!" their sensei stuttered dumbly.

Naruto just shrugged and an uncomfortable silence fell over the three.

"Can I help you?" the man behind the counter asked.

"Uhm, I think I'll just have some miso soup, please," Shikamaru answered, grateful for the interruption.

Naruto suddenly rose from his stool and turned to the oldest brunette, "I'm full and I just remembered that I have something important do to, so I'm just gonna go home now. It was great to see you again, Iruka-sensei."

"Uh.. you too, Naruto. You didn't mention that you had something on your schedule earlier?" the teacher said, looking a bit suspicious.

"I forgot, I'll see you later, sensei," was the young man's short reply. "Shikamaru," he said politely as he turned to his former class mate and nodded as goodbye. Then he walked under the cloths that cut off the little restaurant from the rest of the world, waving a hand absentmindedly behind him.

Iruka muttered his goodbye to the boy and turned to Shikamaru, "I wonder what that was all about."

"He's probably just on a diet or something, didn't wanna get fat," he joked. "I've never understood how he's managed not to this far."

Iruka stared at him quizzically and then shrugged, "Well, I better get going too then. It was nice to see you, Shikamaru."

After he had paid Ichiraku, he walked off and left the shadow-nin alone to wonder what had just happened. His brain was still not functioning properly, it seldom did these days.

This was not the first time that he had been in such a situation; he would approach someone and they would act as if they barely knew him and would soon excuse themselves. He chose to believe that it was just coincidental, though. After all Iruka had seemed genuinely happy to see him and he seemed just as clueless about Naruto's disappearance as Shikamaru was. _Shinobi are busy people, it wouldn't be unlike Naruto to have forgotten something_, he comforted himself.

A bowl was placed in front of him and he remembered how hungry he was. As the smell reached his nostrils, he was sure that this would be just what he needed to get rid of the weird feeling in his stomach.

While he ate, he tried to count the number of noodles his bowl. He gave up eventually, though. It was hard to keep track, when the noodles disappeared into his mouth and left the rest twirled around.

* * *

It was an information-gathering mission. There were rumors of a group of rogue shinobi causing trouble around the borders of the Land of Fire. It was a fairly simple mission; all they needed to do was to find out if there were any threats against the Leaf Village. If there was an immediate threat, they were ordered to attack. If not, report to the Hokage what they had found out.

Shikamaru was waiting by the city gate for the rest of his team. He was slouched against a big pillar, frowning and lost in thought.

He was to go with Hinata and Shino, a good team for the job. Hinata would track the clan down. Shikamaru, as a strategist, would come up with a plan as to how they could get the information they needed without revealing their real identity. Shino would assist Shikamaru in developing the strategy and if they got close enough to their enemies, his insects would be perfect to track potential threats.

_Yeah, yeah. It all sounds so good in theory._

No matter how much he tried to rationalize the situation he could not helpbut feel a twist of something indecipherable in his gut.

_I'm gonna kill whoever put that troublesome woman on my team!_

Hinata, with her innocence and stuttering, her insecurity and high-pitched voice. For some reason the two had been teamed up quite a few times in the course of the last months and the nuisance would always ask him questions. Irrelevant, personal questions that had absolutely nothing to do with whatever they had been assigned to. She would be a liability to him. Granted, she was not stupid and she could take care of herself, but only to a certain extent. She needed a big, strong man to lean on, just as any other female.

He sighed as he saw the remaining two of his team approach. _Oh well, at least Shino is here to keep her company._

"Hello, Shikamaru," the bug tamer greeted.

"Hello, Shino," Shikamaru responded and then turned his gaze at the ebony haired Hyūga, carefully avoiding direct eye contact, and gave her a curt nod.

The girl seemed to be struggling to keep her stance under the scrutinizing eyes, but nevertheless managed to raise a small hand in the air in a friendly gesture.

Shikamaru turned his eyes to Shino once again, "Have you been filled in?"

"Yes," the other two answered in chorus.

"Okay, but remember," he paused for effect. "It is of utmost importance that they do not find out that we've caught a whiff of them. Discretion is the key word here," he finished didactically.

"W-we understand, Shikamaru," Hinata responded shakily.

"Yeah, we're not stupid, you know," was the slightly wry reply from the Aburame.

"Oh, well. I just needed to be sure."

A silence fell upon the three. Shino seemed to be studying Shikamaru from behind his glasses, which the shadow-nin responded to with an entirely unimpressed look, while Hinata shuffled her feet nervously around the gravel.

"Shall we get going?" Shino asked and broke the silence as he turned his back to the two and began walking away.

Hinata offered Shikamaru a small smile and hurried after her other team mate.

_Like a lost puppy_, Shikamaru thought as he watched for a few seconds before following Hinata's example.

* * *

He knocked on the door, but no one answered.

"Open up, moron!" he said and laughed maniacally, curled his hands into fists and banged on the door.

He heard another door open beside him and shot the woman standing in the doorway an incredulous look.

"Do you realize what time it is?" the woman bellowed.

Shikamaru made an attempt to turn around and glare at her, but he fell on his butt instead.

"It's 4 am!" she practically screamed.

"Lis-sten, Ms. Lady. You're really loud and I've got a headache and-"

He felt the door behind him slip away and fell into a pair of heavy legs.

"I'll take care of him," said a sleepy voice above him. "And I'm sorry for the inconvenience, he won't do it again. Will you, Shikamaru?"

A sore groan erupted from the breathing pile on the floor. Chōji bent down to pick Shikamaru up by his armpits and pulled him inside the apartment.

"Why'd you say that? 'S just an old hag... can't stand th' some of us're acshally enjoying oursels."

"It's 4 in the morning, that's why. And I wouldn't say I think it's funny to wake up to my best friend making a fool of himself. Have you no shame anymore?"

"You sound like my mom," Shikamaru scoffed.

"We'll take this in the morning," Chōji sighed.

Chōji dragged Shikamaru into the kitchen and placed him on a chair. Shikamaru immediately slumped over the table and did not look up until the redhead placed a cup of coffee in front of him. He gratefully took the cup to his lips and sipped the hot beverage, eyeing Chōji somewhat warily. This was the first time he had ever come to his friend in the middle of the night. He was sure Chōji would put him through the third degree and he was not in the mood for that. He was tired from the mission, both mentally and physically, and he had done what he always did when feeling stressed; he had gone to a bar, drunk what felt like half of his body's weight in alcohol and found a nice, willing girl. It did not help, though. Tonight would be the third night in a row he had turned to the blissful comfort of being utterly inebriated.

"You stink," his best friend stated.

"I figured." Shikamaru felt an overwhelming urge to take a shower, scrub all of the filthiness off and feel clean again. Stupid Hinata, it was all her fault. If only she had…

"Why did you come here?" Chōji interrupted his thoughts.

"My parents dun appreshate me anymore."

"You mean they don't appreciate when you bang on their door in the middle of their sleep and the wonderful drunken insults that follow when you're let in?"

Shikamaru dug out the silver lighter and a cigarette from his pocket, he made to light it when the little tobacco stick was ripped from his hands. He stared dumbly at the Akamichi for a moment before resorting to opening and closing the lighter lid.

"You could juss gimme my keys back 'n' I wouldn't have ta bang on your door."

"Fat chance. Maybe you should've thought of that before you took girls to _my_ apartment and fucked them on _my_ couch."

"You know your place's closer. Not my fault you saw that. Shouldn't come barging in the middle o' the night."

"You forget the couple of times you did it well aware that I was sleeping in my bed. You're messed up, Shikamaru," Chōji exhaled noisily.

"Thanks," the brunet kept his gaze locked to the little flame that would appear every time he pressed his thumb down. He could see the redhead shifting restlessly across from him.

"I heard your mission didn't go so well. What happened?" Good, old Chōji – always concerned of the well-being of others. Shikamaru decided not to answer that question. It was stupid. It was a stupid mission, stupid, and the plan was foolproof and then _she_ had decided to disobey. What right had she to do such a thing? And of course Shino was on her side, defending her and making Shikamaru look the fool. It was not his fault, how could it be?

"I asked you something, you know." The voice across from him sounded weary and resigned. It made Shikamaru screw his eyes shut tightly. God, how he hated this. He even hated himself sometimes.

"It went fine," he answered curtly.

For the next few minutes the soft clicks of the lighter were the only sounds in the room. Shikamaru felt the weight of the silence falling heavier and heavier on his chest and he had to make it a point to breathe normally. He saw Chōji's arm reach across the table to take the lighter in his hands and he tightened his hold. He felt naked without it, had seldom left it out of sight since that fateful rainy day when it was given to him. Chōji took the hint and for a few seconds his hand hovered awkwardly in the air, then he put it to rest on Shikamaru's arm. Shikamaru looked up and regretted it immediately. Those eyes, filled with so much pity, seemed to see right through him. He shot up from the chair, lost his balance and fell noisily to the floor.

"Don't pity me!" he said venomously.

"Why not, Shikamaru? Why should I not pity you when you've dug yourself into a hole that you can't get out of and are too arrogant to ask for help?" Chōji paused. "Give me one good reason and I'll never say anything again."

Shikamaru desperately tried to find something to say to his defense, but the words would not come. Instead, he tried to focus on getting to his feet. It proved to be harder than he had originally thought and he cursed himself for falling in the first place. Why did he have to lose face to his best friend of all people?

"You always do this! You always pull away from everybody when there's something you can't handle." He lowered his voice and slouched against the kitchen counter, "You gotta learn to cope with your losses."

It was not hard for Shikamaru to interpret the true meaning behind his words. He tightened his grip around the lighter and tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. Silence fell over them again and Shikamaru liked to think that it was because his friend felt bad for crossing that line and would refrain from going any further.

"It's been four years since Asuma-sensei died and you still cling to that damn lighter as if it was your only source of oxygen." A small '_clink'_ sounded as said lighter fell to the tile floor. "He would've wanted you to move on. What do you honestly think that he'd say if he saw you right now? Do you think he would be proud?"

"Stop," the brunet pleaded, his voice barely more than a whisper.

"And Temari. It's been… how long?" Chōji scratched his chin, pretending to be thinking hard. "Oh, that's right. One and a half fucking years. And it just gets worse every day. Get over her already."

The Nara froze.

"Move on, Shikamaru!"

Just as Chōji opened his mouth to say something more, Shikamaru spoke, "Stop."

His voice was weak and husky and his face carefully turned in an angle that made it impossible for his friend to read him. He did not have to, Chōji knew him well, and he would know just how far he had overstepped the proverbial line. Shikamaru took a deep breath to calm himself and willed the sting in the back of his eyes away. Everything Chōji had said was true and he was very well aware of it, but he had tried so tirelessly, so desperately, so hard to escape it. The wall of defenses that he had so frantically tried to build after his beloved sensei's death had only been penetrated by one person. Temari. He had willingly opened up for her and he had loved her and she took it. She took everything he had given her and too late did he realize just how little he had received from her. He had allowed himself a moment of weakness and he had paid for it. It had taught him a very valuable lesson, one he had promised himself he would not ever forget.

Shikamaru's eyelids fell heavier and heavier and after a while, the Akamichi took a firm hold on his friend's arm and dragged him into the living room. Shikamaru had trouble walking on his legs and he would probably not have made it had it not been for his helper. He was lain down on the soft, plushy couch and covered with a blanket.

"Slowed 's down. Stupid bitch got injured 'n' me 'n' Shino gotta carry her back. Almost threw the whole fucken mission," Shikamaru slurred.

"Who are you talking about?" the redhead asked, confused.

"Hinata!" Shikamaru yelled.

"I'm sure she didn't get hurt on purpose. You know her, she'd never do anything that could bring her team in danger." His pedagogical skills were put to the test; a drunken Shikamaru was not high on his list of favorite things to deal with.

"Why'd she have to step in fronnor me, huh? Coulda handled it perfectly fine by myself."

"Sounds to me like she tried to save your life," Chōji stated. "Why are you so mad about that?"

He got no reply as the Nara had fallen asleep.

* * *

His head hit the floor before the rest of his body did. It hurt to say the least and he wondered if he had acquired a concussion, it felt like his brain was being continuously electrified. He groaned and decided to stay there, but soon he felt a foot to his side and a loud voice boomed through the room. He tried to the best of his ability to tune out the unwanted noise, but something peaked his interest. _A visitor?_ He was certain that he was at Chōji's, who would visit him there?

"Hey! Are you listening?" the Akamichi asked exasperatedly.

Shikamaru willed his body to move and used the sofa to climb to his feet. Chōji put his hands on his shoulders to keep him from swaying and walked him out of the room. Shikamaru wanted to ask who was there but was in too dazed a state to even think a coherent sentence. He was shoved down on a chair at the kitchen table and he gratefully drank the glass of water he was handed.

"I'm gonna leave you two alone now," Chōji said and shot a pointed look at his best friend.

Shikamaru looked around to see who else was part of 'you two' and was more than a little surprised when he saw none other than Hyūga Hinata standing in the door way, shuffling her feet and looking at anything but Shikamaru.

"How did you know I was here?" he asked, deciding to take the obvious approach.

"I'm sorry."

"What are you sorry for?"

"I-I'm sorry that I came here, it's just… I went by your parents' house and they didn't know whe-where you were. So I went and asked Ino and she said that you might be-be here so… Perhaps I should be going, you don't… d-don't look that well."

"Why'd you take that kunai for me?"

"Are you all right, Shikamaru?" That concerned tone again. Why did people always talk to him as if he was some goddamned child?

"No, I've got one bitch of a hangover."

Shikamaru got up and searched the cupboards. He sat a cup and a bowl on the table and rummaged around some more until he found the cereal. While he made breakfast he noticed that Hinata was watching his every move. Kami, how he hated when she did that. Those pale orbs always seemed to see past his defenses and bore right into his mind.

_And my fucking gut. I hate this feeling. _

He sat down and ate, meanwhile Hinata kept shooting curious glances between him and the door that Chōji had made his exit through when she was not looking at her feet.

"Would you stop watching me eat?" he asked irritably. "What did you come to talk to me about?"

"Uhm..." She turned her eyes to the floor again and shifted against the doorframe.

"Would you just fucking stop acting all nervous and fucking annoying and tell me what the fuck you came here for?" he all but yelled. He heard Chōji clearing his throat in the living room.

Hinata looked up, eyes wide, and Shikamaru made the mistake of meeting her gaze. The feeling in his stomach intensified.

"I'm sorry. I sh-shouldn't ha-ha-have come he-re."

The second Hinata turned around, Shikamaru felt compelled to follow her. He stopped her with a hand on her arm in the hall.

"Why'd you go through all the trouble of finding me just to say you're sorry?"

"I'm sorry."

She stepped away from Shikamaru and he realized that he was still holding onto her arm. He quickly retracted his hand as if it had been burned. He rubbed his fingers against his pants in an attempt to get rid of the tingling sensation. He wondered briefly why he always seemed to act so strange around her.

"Uh… Listen, do you wanna go for a walk?" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and damned her for rubbing off on him. This was not him; he did not do awkward, he did not do nervous. He was Nara Shikamaru and he was supposed to keep his cool at all times.

She looked at him; great surprise was evident in those expressive Hyūga eyes.

_Weak!_

He grabbed his jacket and pulled on his shoes, he was surprised to find them there. He took that as a good sign at least that meant that he had not been as intoxicated as he had feared. He did not remember much from the night before and had dreaded that he might have said or done something stupid in his dear friend's presence.

"Where do you wanna go?" he asked as he held the door open for her.

_Since when did_ I _become a gentleman? _A voice in his head snarled.

"I… uhm…"

"Do you wanna go to a tea house or something? I could do with something to recuperate my brain."

"I-I was th-thinking that maybe we could go somewhere…" Her cheeks turned the loveliest shade of pink as she paused. "Private."

"Private, huh? You looking for some hot lovin'?" he asked sleazily.

Hinata shook her head violently; Shikamaru even heard a few cracks.

"Then where do you wanna go and what do you want me for?" He sighed irritably.

"Ca-can we go t-to the f-f-forest or some-something?" He felt those white orbs begging for eye contact, but he refused to give in.

"Sure, we can go to the forest." He began walking down the stairs. "Your dad probably wouldn't approve anyway."

She hesitated for a second before following him.

* * *

They had walked in silence and were now in the Nara forest. The sun was beginning to set and Shikamaru realized that he had slept most of the day away.

"I wanted to t-talk to you about the last mission we went on."

Shikamaru looked at her expectantly.

"I was won-dering why you…" she trailed off.

"Why I what?" he asked sharply, his eyes narrowing.

"It's just that… we've be-been going on a l-lot of missions together la-ately a-and…"

Shikamaru wondered if she ever managed to say something without cutting herself off. How people could stand having a conversation with her was beyond his comprehension.

"You s-seem sad… like there's something t-t-troubling you."

_Oh, shit._

He had made eye contact. Something inside of him froze and boiled and burned all at the same time.

"I he-heard that you've been like th-that for a while and I… wondered." She paused. They just stood there looking at each other. Beautiful pastel irises met those of mahogany. He took in her delicate features, her face set in a mask of utter sincerity. His breath caught in his throat.

"Wondered i-if there was s-s-something th-that I could d-d-d-do?" She looked down, porcelain cheeks dusted with bright red.

His body moved on its own. His feet closed the distance between Hinata and him, his hands placed themselves behind her head, holding it in place when his lips pressed against hers.

"Shikamaru," her voice was muffled. "What are you doing?"

She pushed him away. Ever so gently, she pushed him away. "I thought that you. You said that… I want this."

She stared at him wide-eyed, her mouth was hanging open and her breathing had halted.

He realized then that he had said too much, done too much, way too much. He had learned a bitter lesson from Temari and yet here he was, making the mistake that he had vowed to himself he would never make again. He tried to say something, explain that she had got it wrong and that it had not been what it had seemed like. He wanted to tell her that it was a bad joke, that she should never tell anyone, that she should forget it. But he did not, could not.

And that was when he realized what was happening and that was when he ran. Ran away from Hinata and the dangerous emotions she evoke within him. Ran away like he had done so many times before. Ran away because that was what he was good at.

* * *

_**Author's note: **_

_If_ _there are some inconsistencies it is because I __am no__t__ up to date with__ the series – please, do not spoil me. You can ask me, though, if there are some aspects you need clarified.__  
This is the first time I have tried to write a somewhat explicit sex scene, so I hope I was able to pull it off. I would love to hear what you think; constructive criticism is very much appreciated.__  
By the way, 'Luxuria' is one of the seven deadly sins and means 'lust' or 'lechery'._

_Also, a big thank you to LoveToTheCucumber who has tried to help me through with this and been pestering me to finish__ it__. I am not sure I would have made it if it had not been for her._

_I hope you have enjoyed the story._


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